Thirsting...Aching Part I

Where to begin my friends, where to begin. It's been an incredibly busy month, so forgive me for not writing a post for as long as I have. There is much on my heart as I type this blog this morning. So much...it's been difficult to shift out the things I want to share and the things that I will save for a later blog post, the Part II of this post...So, let's start with what I've been experiencing these past few weeks, especially these past couple days. Desire. An increase of desires for something more has been welling up within my soul. I have found that if these desires are misplaced, they can do great damage to me and also those surrounding me because desires, if not harnessed properly, can become selfish and selfishness can cause destruction in any and all relationships in our lives. It's funny, I was watching this T.V. show the other night and the main character is struggling to harness her ever-powerful desires which have increased due to her nature now being changed. When she does not channel these desires properly, destruction is the wake the she leaves in the lives of those surrounding her, especially her life. For if she plays into these desires, the aftermath of guilt from her acting on her desires and the pain from that guilt linger. I feel like I identified with this character immensely because like her, God has created within me these incredibly strong desires to seek out adventure, to experience passion, to experience life with another at 100%, to experience beauty, to embrace all that life has to offer and not miss out on one good thing. These desires of mine run very deep and they are very strong and have only increased with age. All this to say, while these desires are good, I have as of late had to remind myself that these desires have been created in me not for my own good, but for the work of God's good throughout this world. Now, with all of that in place, I want to now direct you toward an import one of the desires mentioned above, which is experiencing life with another 100%. Since I can't remember when, I have for a long time desired to meet and know whoever God would have for me as my companion in life. Some people dream of being a teacher or Dr. or traveling,etc. Well, my dream has been companionship; that life-long bond with another human whose life I will be able to witness and walk alongside and vice-versa. While this is an admirable and fantastic desire (to live this life serving another entirely), this is also a desire that if not harnessed, can bring about destruction in the lives of others. First, it can cause me to be tunnel visioned; for why not use this desire for one to be a desire for many? Second, man should never be the object of my desire; rather shouldn't it be Jesus, the ONLY one who has rightfully gained being the Object of my desire through the giving of his life? Truly, if anyone has earned the right to being the Object of my desire, it should be Jesus. So, thinking through all of this this past week, I came to the realization that I have unfortunately not been harnessing this desire for companionship, thereby causing some turmoil in my life and the life of another. I began to ponder the next steps towards correcting my fault and directing my desire from being destructive to productive. It took me sitting and being still before the Lord to realize that for sometime now, I have been frustrated and angry with Him for not fulfilling this desire of companionship with another. This frustration and anger has only caused me to grow stagnant and to not go a route that would actually allow me the companionship I so long for. Companionship with Jesus. He, honestly, is the perfect companion (besides the fact sometimes that he is not in the flesh...but we will save that for Part II). And here's the deal, I know that deep down, deeeeep down, companionship with man will never satisfy. NEVER. Even if God were to give me the companionship I so desperately desire, there will be days that because my companion will still be human and he will still not be able to fulfill me. Why? BECAUSE MAN IS NOT GOD. Humans are an "earthly well", if you will. The things of this world are an earthly well that do not hold Living water who quenches ALL thirst. Jesus, however, is the "eternal well" that holds Living water that will quench my desire's thirst! Man, how long have I been thirsty and been going to and just standing for days before an empty well? Yep! My unharnessed desires have lead me to an empty well. So now, with all of my efforts, I am changing the course of my journey towards the Well that never dries up: Jesus. This, believe me, is going to be a struggle because the flesh causes me to be weak and to stumble and to want to turn back to the empty well that is truly only a mirage put in place by Satan to keep me from the course that would find me being filled. Remember, Satan wants destruction to plague our lives and he will put the most beautiful of objects before us to distract us from the Truth. So, I am fully aware that in this journey towards Him, I am going to have to experience sometimes drought and the "earthly" mirages of life will be there to distract me. I will have to be so ALERT of these mirages and will have to harness my desires to aid me in pushing me towards the Well that holds the water that quenches. Earthly wells/or the things of this world will never quench..they will always leave you thirsty, because in the beginning, we were created to desire the eternal/the unfading. So, what are the "empty wells" in your life? Love? Money? Career pursuits?Etc.? What are the objects of your desires that are causing your soul's throat to be so dry that it hurts? Or, have you allowed life to keep you so busy that you don't even feel the dryness? Change the route of your journey; allow your feet to go the direction of the well that holds eternal Living water. Strain towards it, even if your feet are bleeding from the journey. Jesus says in John 4:13, "Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."