Baby Food vs. An Exquisite Feast

This song right here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVnMsW5J7gM. I gotta say...it is such a perfect song for me right now. Eesh. My God and my King, how faithful is he? SO faithful. These past few weeks have been so amazing and haunting all at the same time. I have never felt more distant from God, yet so close to him in the span of a few days in all of my life. He has both broken my heart and healed it..but for the most part, healed it because I have been relentless with Him to heal those areas of my life that so desperately need Him and His healing touch. I would say, for quite sometime, I have been lost. I have been pursuing what I wanted, when I wanted it, and while I wanted to to regard Him and His desires for my life, in the same breath I didnt. Deep breath..... I think the main (MAJOR) things God has been revealing to me during this time of a "stripping restoration" has been that I 1. Don't believe that he will do what he says he is going to do, bc if I did, well, then I wouldn't have been trying to control my life as much as what I have been trying to do. Hmm...and all this time I thought I was an authentic Christian. Nope. To be an authentic Christian you must BELIEVE in Him (aka believing he's going to do what he says he's going to do and trusting in that). Talk about a zinger to my image as a Christian. and 2. I haven't been trusting and obeying God one bit with my life. I thought I was trusting and obeying him...but here's the deal. Instead of believing in God and his truths, I was instead believing in un-truths (lies). And we all know who is the Father of Lies? Satan. And with Satan..HE DECEIVES YOU AND MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE TRUSTING AND OBEYING GOD WHEN YOU AREN'T!!!!! Yep, that little jerk is still up to his old ways. Remember the Garden of Eden when evil asked, "Now did God really say that you'd die if you ate from that tree?" (Gen 2). Deceiver! Made Eve think that she couldn't trust God and needed to take matters into her own hands because God's word couldn't be trusted. That he truly hadn't give her EVERYTHING she needed..that she somehow needed to take her dreams and make them a reality. WRONG! And oh, another example of Satan's old tricks. Remember in the Wilderness when it was just him and the Love of my life (who I need to get to know better and pay attention to more). Yeah...remember when he tried to get Jesus to believing that he could give Him (who is the Son of God, heck, who is God himself who owns it all!) the world (Matthew 4). Huh? Like what? Really? That Satan gots some you know what. Again, Satan trying to deceive us into thinking God can't be trusted and obeyed b/c he isn't able to give us more than God has already given us. Bullocks! So...here I am...trying do things differently now.I just want to say that I am so grateful for God's persistence and him being relentless at me. Honestly. I have been angry at him these past few days...weeks...years (possibly), that I haven't taken the time to see that he's not my enemy. That besides Satan, I am my own worst enemy and that I have been the one that is getting in the way of all that He has for me. He loonnnnngs to care for us. He wants us as his Bride to let Him who is our Bridegroom to just pour his love and care out all over us. Now...when I want what I want (which is a limited human perspective), then this love and care he wants to pour out all over me seems to be at certain times awful! (Strange huh? Divine love and care being awful.) But lets be honest, what I want sometimes is like baby food compared to the incredibly exquisite feast God has prepared for me His bride (Ps. 23). I am grateful for the people who have been showing me that I have been eating the baby food vs. God's feast. So grateful.... Sometimes life is going to get you down. It'll confuse you, hurt you and at times, it'll make you feel like you're going through Hell. Winston Churchill stated, "If you're going through Hell, keep going." I want to add to that, "...keep going...and keep speaking God's promises for the journey." So...if you're going through Hell, you GOTTA douse your brain with God's promises from His word, so when you're traveling through Hell and Satan decides to be your travel companion, you can expose his lies with God's loving and caring truths! Believe in God and His truths. We can trust and obey him and in doing that, we get to sit back and let His truths change our lives.