Made in His Image

Today was probably the most fulfilling day I have had in a long time. I was blessed beyond reason today by some incredible gal Spirit-filled friends of mine. They blessed me by speaking and anointing me with God's chain-breaking truth. This event is something that has needed to happen for quite sometime. Truth such as, "Start to see who you are in God's image verses trying to see yourself through other's image of who they want you to be." Freeing. "You are so close to being free of walking in the mud. Yes soon, you are going to be reaching beautiful white sands that will caress your hurting feet." The Life Bringing Oasis of God is near. Right now, I know that God has me in the refiner's kiln, getting me prepared to do a great work for His Kingdom. He has for sometime I think, been burning away and pruning off those things that are hindering my work for him and his glory. It hasn't been an easy road. Loved ones and friends close to me have had to all together smell the burning and rotting flesh resulting in this refiner's event. Today, I have been brought to a point where finally, I'm submitting to this refining work. I'm telling God, "Pile in the wood to get the fire blazing. Burn me up so that all is left is you, dear Jesus.Only you. Sharpen up your shears and cut away those pieces of me that are just rotting. Cut me so then I can heal and be made more whole. " He never promises this life to be easy or comfortable. Being made into the image of a pure and holy God, when your sin is dark and tainted, well, let's just say the transformation not going to be easy or comfortable. Never. But he does promise to be with us every step of the way. My rock who I have stepped off of for some time....I'm ready to place my feet back on the firm foundation who is the steadfast God. Who is faithful with his word and everything, everthing that is good and right and pure and honest and strong and amazing. Oh, how my heart leaps for joy when I focus my mind on HIM verses that of the circumstance I may be in. God is doing a new thing. He desires that we seek him, and when we seek him with all our hearts, that we will find him (Jeremiah 29:13) . Oh how I desire to find this tame yet wild King who pursues us daily and delights over us (Zephaniah 3:17). Who is constantly using his time to woo us back to his sweet embrace. This is the King whom I serve. In his presence we are radiant and want for nothing. We are beautiful and perfect, we shine like the stars in the heavens and we are exuding a glory that is not known to this earth. We are his created...and there is one who would desire us to not understand this very truth. One who desire to steal, kill and destroy. One who wants us to be focus on our current circumstances and all the chaos around us so that we do not even think to look up to God, so that we might have freedom in knowing who we are in the Truth. A gal friend of mine drew for me this picture of this woman climbing..and as she was climing, chains were falling from her body. The passage that was written beside this picture was this, "Awake, awake, O Zion, clothe yourself with strength.Put on your garments of splendor, O Jerusalem, the holy city. The uncircumcised and defiled will not enter you again. Shake off your dust; rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem.Free yourself from the chains on your neck,O captive Daughter of Zion. Isaiah 52:1-2". How long have I allowed chains to bind me? How long have I chosen to listen to the Father of Lies (he who is perpetually 'the defiled') and wear rags of weakness verses clothes of strength and splendor? How long have I chosen to sit in the mire over that of being enthroned beside my King? No longer will I be captive. No longer will I allow Satan's false arrows to penetrate my heart. I am getting up. I am climbing. I am stripping myself of those chains that bind me, and I will stand up and be the anointed daughter God has called me to be. Get ready. God is doing something new and there is going to be more light shining forth as a beacon within the darkness forged by this world. Yes, I am now as Light, for I am embracing my identity of being one who is born again. I'm wide awake and am being set free and being made into His Image. I will end this post by asking you these questions: What are the chains you are allowing to choke you? What lies are you choosing to listen to over that of sweet truth? If you do realize the chains and the lies choking you, what will you do to release yourself from them-? Who sounds better-the Father of Lies who seeks to steal, kill and destroy you or the God of Splendor who delights over you...Who allows you to be dressed in His splendor and strength. It's your choice. What will you choose on this day? The climb will not be easy, but it will be worth it. So come with me, climb beside me and choose to be set free.

What Road Do I Go Down?

Life crossroads can be one of two things: exciting or terrifying, but for me, never both. I'm at a crossroads in life and I think that I am going to choose to see it as exciting. I started looking at Missions Organizations today. Window shopping more or less. And I guess what has fostered this search is the feeling of not really fitting in where I am at with anything or anyone. Its really an extraordinary feeling, not fitting in. Misfit, odd duck, the loan cheese. My boyfriend, God bless him, said to me one day that me being different is who I am and that that is a good thing. So nice. I have much to be thankful with him. So, where do I need to go in order that I feel like I fit in? Maybe that's Ireland, Amsterdam, Uganda, Florida, New York or the church right down the street from my current apartment. Not sure. But what I am sure of is the search for God's bidding in my life and for my life vocation tarries on....Stay tuned.

Back to the Drawing Board

It is incredible how much one can learn about oneself in one day. Just yesterday, I had yet another snafoo happen to me at work. Yet another circumstance that for all too long caused my anxiety to go from 1-8. I was even so bold to question God as to what he was going to be able to do to fix it. (Bold and extremely insulting to Him, no?) Finally, after pacing back and forth for ten mins, I said to myself "Enough!! I am no longer going to look at every circumstance as negative-shoot, I'm not even going to look at the negative circumstances of life as negative but I'm going to find the positive in the negative." So, what did I do? I made a list of all the positives. I did not even think about all the negatives, ONLY the positives. Let me tell you, that right there was life-changing. Some things on my list are as follows, 1. I will not lose my job over this 2. No body was hurt, and no body died (these are always good things to happen when pertaining to my circumstances) 3. Jesus loves me still. 4. I know when to admit I've made a mistake and strive to rectify it. Those were just some of the few (but few is a good number) of positives that resulted in a negative situation. So, I'd encourage you, when negative situation presents itself, get out a piece of paper (any size, color, shape, whatever!) and writing utensil and force yourself to see the positive in it. Doing this is better than Xanax---and non habit forming (well, you might get addicted to seeing the positive which is good) and cheaper! So, feel free to let me know how that goes for you:) Also, I would like to note, that God DID indeed do something about it. Later that morning, my District Manager called to let me know that the situation was not a big deal and that my followup about the mistake was handled beautifully. My God and King, how gracious you are....Forgive me for my insulting spirit. The previous situation, big lesson transforming the mind and allowing God's character to change my perspective. Loving it. That was the first thing. Now I have a second thing! Re-dreaming, reconstructing, thinking about what I want in this life-but most importantly what God has placed in my heart to want. Discerning what that looks like exactly takes time and energy and prayer. All worth it. SO, today I woke up and started thinking about many things, one of which was my future husband, among other things. For those of you who don't know me entirely well, I have dreamed about my future husband since I was 14.Ha granted for the past five yrs, my dreams were more like nightmares. Seriously, I warded off marriage like the plague! But before those yrs, I have read books like, "When God Writes Your Love Story"; "The Bride Wore White"; "The Book of Romance"; all of Karen Kingsbury's Bailey Flanigan stories....I am doused in those ideas of how I want my earthly love story to look like. All the while, I know that I need to continue to allow God mold my love story all the more. So, this morning, I got up and brought to my thoughts was a note I had written back in February on Facebook. I want to share it with you. It has got me thinking about a few things. It got me thinking again about what characteristics I want my husband to possess and for sometime, I have stopped praying for God to fostered these characteristics in him now. I would also like to note that I am praying that these characteristics continued to be fostered within the man I am currently dating, and finally, praying for God to continue to foster these characteristics in my life. Essentially, I've been thinking about God's Will and discerning as to what that might look like in the different facets of my life. I am learning everyday moreso who God has created me to be and strive to fit that into what Christ looks like through who he has created me to be. I know lately, I haven't been too Christ-like and frankly, that makes me quite brokenhearted. I use to be so "on-point" and steady and fixed on all that is Christ...and ever since Seminary has been over---this slow drifting has crept in. But today is a new day, amen?! So,this is me and who I am-I dream and dream big when it has come to my earthly "love story". My note: Sunday, February 12, 2012 at 12:04pm · I think my favorite part of the day is my morning devotions. There is just something about the stillness of my apartment and the beauty of the morning sun dripping through the windows that takes me to the heavenly throne room of My King. Today was different for me. It was different because today my heart that is usually very, very (did I mention very?) content about being single, began to re-dream. Re-dream of what I desire my future spouse to be like. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I've thought of what I am looking for (ask my family. They are praying earnestly that I at least begin to entertain the thought of marriage. Ha. I tell them they and my friends are enough. But still, they don't want me to be alone. I do love them.). So, with Valentine's Day up ahead, even though I do not have my earthly love this year as my Valentine, I will decide to take sometime to dream about him. Cheesy? Sure. Satisfying to the heart? Actually...most definitely. Why satisfying? As a single woman closer to 30 than 20, I find that doing this keeps me looking forward with hope and fulfillment over that of hopelessness and emptiness wrought by the lack of him in my life. I know that God has an amazing plan (marriage or not). One that I believe is phenomenal, and I trust Him to bring about that which is good and right in my life, and maybe in that of my future husband's life. (And I choose to dream over sulking. Sulking is un-productive. Dreaming is not. Dream people, dream!) The following attributes, while I was writing them, made me think of a couple things. 1. There are many of these attributes I need to develop in my life (like 50+% of them) and 2. Jesus Christ, my First Love, possess all of these! He lacks not one! Thanks be to God, I have Jesus. So, without further adue, here is my heart and these are my dreams for the man I will hopefully call my husband: Caring; compassionate; quick to listen slow to speak; intuitive; thoughtful; consistent with his words and actions; man of his word; reliable; faithful; promise keeper; un-worldly; modest in speech and in act; humble; strong; not quick to rush sweet moments; mindful; passionate; adventerous; funny; lovely; the truest sense of a man; spoken highly of; trustworthy; a good friend to me and o/s; resent-less; forgiving; patient as the day is long; calm; wise; pure in action and thought; servant leader; a good father; goes deep with God; strong and deep faith; playful; challenges me to make me better; active; innovative; sweet; likealbe; truthful but not hurtful; not spiteful; bold when necessary; not controlling; gracious; man of prayer; lover of Scripture; encouraging; self-less; restorative; non-judgemental; doer of the Word; wise with finances; passionately pursues Christ daily; lives with conviction; loves Jesus more than me; family man; is on board with having the Love story worth talking about years after we've left this world; desires to make me fall in love with him all over again each and every day; responds over reacting; sanctifies me daily with Christ; takes time for the important things... {END NOTE} So, family and friends, there you have it. Striving to be more like these so that I am a better woman for those surrounding me and also for my husband someday-but especially so that I represent my First Love as best I can because in the end, he is the only One I want to impress. May our lives depict these characteristics so that we can have our lives and our world transformed. Have an incredible day!

Life Perspective and Transformation

Good a.m. to you all:) I hope that you are doing very well on this fine, Saturday morning. I know that how I am doing, well I have a cup of coffee sitting to my left, God on my heart. Today, I am earnestly seeking God for His direction on finding our what my life calling will be. And I would say that this very issue is the biggest cause of my quarter life crisis. Do I want to be a professor? Or, maybe an artist, I love doing art. Or, photography? Maybe I want to be a dance instructor. I don't really need to pay my bills do I ? I could be world traveler...or maybe, fake my death in order to be a world traveler! (Don't think I haven't thought about it....:)) Ha, oh the ideas that run through my head sometimes. What do I want to do..which leads me to carrying on our conversation from last night about perspective and life and the lovely within the dread. I guess right now I'm at the point where I have somewhat created for myself being stuck in the dread. So, what am I going to do about it now? Well, start dreaming again. But what are my dreams? What do I hope to do? What do I want to do with this life of mine? There's a lot of me in those sentences...which brings me to remembering a very wise man's words, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his lifed will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?" Mark 8:34-36. Oh yeah, this wise man, his name is Jesus and he's the love of my life....And He's for sure been bringing these words to my attention this entire month. Now, I want sit here more with his words. What am I doing right now? Well, the world tells me that I need to no matter what, do a job, get paid, and pay off my bills. And if that is what the world wants, then I will do whatever vocation it takes to succeed in paying off my bills---and in that, forget what God would have me do for my vocation. Sometimes, I feel that until I get into the vocation that God has called me into, I will constantly find that I am selling my soul and the happiness of my soul for the sake of paying off my bills. Amazing when its said like that. SO! I guess my next steps need to be earnest prayer, quiet time with the Lord to see what he would have for me...and what he might have may be risky. Speaking of risk, my very supportive boyfriend today said, "Sometimes you have to risk a lot to gain a lot." Denying oneself and the comforts and approval of others I would say is for sure risking alot, and if I don't risk, what will I be losing? A lot. At this point, I need a brain transplant---pure transformation of my mind has got to happen. Transformation as to what I deem as right verses what is truly right in God's eyes. Honestly, I don't think what is truly right in God's eyes was us paying our bills and getting them paid NO MATTER WHAT, regardless of us missing out on our life calling. Nope. Don't recall a verse that says that! I do remember him saying this, "...I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings." Hosea 6:6. Right now, I would say that what I am doing is not really causing me to know him more because the space to know him more is not being created by what I am doing. I'm honestly choosing create a space that allows me to pays the bills and receive approval from others in doing "the responsible" thing. I'm working a job that does not allow me to use my talents he's given me for this world, for His kingdom to in the end know him more and allow others to know him more. Yep, I'm giving him the the burnt offerings=showing others and myself that I can work a job and pay the bills...b/c that's what is "successful" in this world. Hmmm.... Obviously, there are some others things I am considering too through all of this too. Like, what does it mean to be content in all situations? (Phil 4:12) What does it mean to no matter what I am doing, to work for the Lord. (Col 3:22-24) Yes. I know all these things and am also taking them into consideration. And through it all, I am praying for God to transform my mind and change my perspective on what His perspective is for my life and this world. But for now, we can chat more later...time to put on my happy face for work:)

Blogging Beginnings

Greetings and welcome to my blog. I appreciate your time to stop by and peek around at what is going on in my life as of last. If you didn't know, my name is Crystal Woodford. A good friend of mine actually encouraged me to start up a blog. I thought about it and decided, "Yes. It would be good to share my life's journey's with others, because my journey's may help the life journey's of another." I'm all about making life count and leaving a mark so, here goes! To introduce myself, I am a 27 year old woman with lots of dreams and hopes for what I would have my life look like. As of late, I am taking a look at my life and wondering, "Hmm...this is definitely not what I was thinking I'd be doing with my life at 27." A bit of a quarter of a life crisis statement, don't you think? Soooo, life...wow. There is so much to be said about life and actually, that is what this blog is going to consist of is chatting about life. I love connecting with people and find that whoever you are or I am, somehow we are connected through experiencing life. It might not be the same life. Yours may be much more difficult than mine---but regards of the specific circumstance, we both experience the happy, the sad, the pain, the confusion and the regret of the day. And by this, I find that somehow, we can choose to be connected, and choose to be a community of individuals who strive to leave eachother's presence better than when we entered it. So please, as you enter my life, bring with you your day-the pain, the happy, the joy or just the mundane. Experience here with me you day and my hope is that you would leave my presence here within this blog better. So, I've mentioned the word "day" in the previous paragraph a few times. Essentially, life consists of days, days hours, hours mins...you get the picture. Lately, in regards to my days, I wonder this, "How can one day be so lovely and then the next, so dreadful?" And why is it that the lovely days are all too short and those ikcy days, those days you want to yell in frustration at each sec of every moment, why do those days last so long? I've pondered on this. Is it my perspective on my circumstances? Do I just have such a poor perspective on the secs of the mins of the hours of my days that the icky lasts much longer than the lovely? As of late....I feel like my days have been so utterly congested with frustration, heart ache and feeling so "stuck" with where I'm at, that all I see is the ick. Now, don't get me wrong, there have most definitely been the lovely within the ick---and I praise God for that because if there was not, then I would most likely be on some anti-depressant! And to continue to speak of God and perspective on life---I have consistently encountered from Him this idea of "transformation of the mind." Do you know how difficult it is to transform thoughts?!?! But with that, do you know important it is to allow God to transform our thoughts? Critical for survival. And all I can say about that is that when it comes to me allowing transformation to happen within my mind...as of late...well, let's just say, I should be considered in critical condition... With that said, I'm going to let this digest for a bit...and plan to carry on my thoughts about perspective, mind transformation, my mind being in critical condition and this notion of seeing hopefully my days as more lovely than the current ick. So, with this said, I bid you a goodnight and look forward to chatting about what's going on later:)